Eternity is Now

Attention Please.

Let us start off with one of those sirens. That time she moved her hair and looked at me.
Or let's start with the incident in the skies that you've surely missed. When everything was gold.

How about that time when I won the war against the ID Ego! And the days after that when everything seemed to make sense again.
Or the hour after that when I realized that it would never ever make sense. Not everything, anyway.

I could start from where I left off.. somewhere floating in space or looking for death on the horizon
or just someplace new and untouched..

But really, I don't think it matters where I start from because it all feels like now to me. Everything I wrote, said, thought- anything remembered! It all feels like now.
The thought went through me like an injection! Sharply and quickly, it intruded. Then silently it became accustomed to my body, making its way through holes that I've never felt..

I always thought of time as a sort of line that we were all walking along, balancing ourselves, and never able to turn around.
But then...

So softly, an image of me in time was painted in my mind and I realized something that I've always heard and said but finally I realized it. How we only exist in the now, never the past or future. Every experience we have is a current one and every memory of a "past" experience is a current one too because you can only remember in the present.

NEGLIGIBLE REALIZATION, I KNOW

but still.. in my mind I saw my world as a canvas and every experience that I lived through as just another spot filled. All my memories placed on a new blank spot, forming a completed painting that in the end would be called, "Ernon's Life."
I saw God hosting a gallery and my life's portrait up there being auctioned at a most amazing price to someone living wherever that just thought that everything I did and "was" was amazing and inspiring to them!
Quite blatantly, I was brought to joy from this simple thought.

I entertained myself with the idea that we are not walking in a straight line but rather being pushed and shaped around a canvas, waiting to see what we'll dry as..
entertained by the thought of being the controller of my personal illusion of time..

There you go again, boy.. rambling on and on again about stupid little nothings

But oddly, to me these realizations feel like nice little everythings.

"I wonder if my paintings and drawings have lives?
If so, I do believe that I should try my hardest to make their lives something beautiful."
and share them with anyone who has a heart capable of seeing them with.

So this is where I begin.